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It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen. — Brigitte Bardot

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. — Groucho Marx

The power of human thought grows exponentially with the number of minds that share that thought. — Dan Brown

The world is full of cactus, but we don’t have to sit on it. — Will Foley

Blessed are they who heal us of self-despisings. Of all services which can be done to man, I know of none more precious. — William Hale White

One may smile, and smile, and be a villain. — William Shakespeare

Be not too hasty to outbid another.

Too clever is dumb. — German Proverb

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. — Terry Pratchett, in his book Reaper Man.

For fools rush in where angels fear to tread. — Alexander Pope

Driving a crappy car changes your entire mindset. If someone cuts me off on the freeway, I can’t flip them off because I may need that guy to jump-start me in a few minutes. — Dobie Maxwell

Sorrow makes men sincere. — Henry Ward Beecher

They hang the man and flog the woman
Who steals the goose from off the common
Yet let the greater villain loose
That steals the common from the goose

The law demands that we atone
When we take things we do not own
But leaves the lords and ladies fine
Who take things that are yours and mine
— Protest Song, Circa 1764

The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt. — Thomas Merton

When I’m getting ready to reason with a man I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say — and two-thirds thinking about him and what he is going to say. — Abraham Lincoln

Re-examine all you have been told. Dismiss what insults your soul. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

You will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do. — David Foster Wallace, in his book Infinite Jest.

may i be i is the only prayer — not may i be great or good or beautiful or wise or strong. — e.e. cummings

Some people walk in the rain. Others just get wet. — Roger Miller

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. — Mahatma Gandhi

I live in my dreams — that’s what you sense. Other people live in dreams, but not in their own. That’s the difference. — Hermann Hesse, in his book Demian.

People often say to me, “Vets must know just as much as doctors,” but when it comes to the crunch they are never very keen to let me treat them. — James Herriot

Something has got to hold it together. I’m saying my prayers to Elmer, the Greek god of glue. — Tom Robbins

Resolve to be thyself. — Matthew Arnold

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. — Margaret Mead

I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical. — Arthur C. Clarke

Sooner or later everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences. — Robert Louis Stevenson

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust. — Samuel Johnson

Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer. — Dean Koontz, in his book False Memory.

Adversity is the first path to truth. — Lord Byron

People could with advantage be compelled to remain absolutely alone for several hours a day. — P. Wyndham Lewis

An unhurried sense of time is in itself a form of wealth. — Bonnie Friedman

I had a cool job. I sold “No Soliciting” signs door to door. — Buzz Nutley

The choreographer convinced me that I looked like Fred Astaire, and I never doubted it. But when I saw the film… I thought I looked like a hippopotamus shaking its hooves. — Bill Hoskins

You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. — Jack London

The most dangerous of all falsehoods is a slightly distorted truth. — G.C. Lichtenberg

Any port in a storm.

To be matter-of-fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy — and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful. — Robert A. Heinlein

To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts. — Henry David Thoreau (image)

A drop of ink may make a million think. — Lord Byron

human wandering through the zoo
what do your cousins think of you?
— Don Marquis, in his book Archy and Mehitabel.

Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

That man is richest whose pleasures are the cheapest. — Henry David Thoreau

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen pounds six, result happiness.
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.
— Charles Dickens, as Mr. Micawber in David Copperfield

Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. — Lao Tzu

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. — Steven Wright

Be not a baker, if your head be of butter. — George Herbert

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you are still a rat. — Lily Tomlin

He who says there is no such thing as an honest man, you may be sure is himself a knave. — Bishop Berkeley

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. — J.R.R. Tolkien

I dared to ask my History master, Tuppy Headlam, for his views on a future life. He replied, “Doubtless I shall inherit eternal bliss, but I prefer not to discuss so depressing a topic.” — Christopher Hollis

You must accept the truth from whatever source it comes. — Maimonides

I’m doing pretty good. Been on the road now doing comedy for ten years so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. — Bill Hicks

I wish I could stand on a busy street corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. — Bernard Berenson

When elephants fight it is the grass that suffers. — African Saying

The idea of morphic resonance is that there is a kind of memory in nature. Each kind of thing has a collective memory. So, take a squirrel living in New York now. That squirrel is being influenced by all past squirrels. — Rupert Sheldrake

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart. — Marcus Aurelius

A good indignation brings out all one’s powers. — Ralph Waldo Emerson (image)

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth. — George Bernard Shaw

The most spectacular experience I had at this time was having to use a car for twenty-four hours that could only go down hill in reverse. — Mary Brancker

I dream my painting and I paint my dream. — Vincent Van Gogh

If there be no remedy, why worry? — Spanish Proverb

Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed. — Francis Bacon

The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were people who knew they were wrong. — Wilson Mizner

The offender never pardons. — George Herbert

Arrange whatever pieces come your way. — Virginia Woolf

Happen to things, don’t let things happen to you. — Stephen Covey

Inferiors revolt in order that they may be equal, and equals that they may be superior. — Aristotle

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog. — Edward Hoagland

Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened
Into the rose garden.
— T.S. Eliot

What we learn with pleasure we never forget. — Louis Mercier

Ful wys is he that kan hymselven knowe! — Geoffrey Chaucer, in The Canterbury Tales

Rousseau fixed the summit of his earthly bliss at living in an orchard with an amiable woman and a cow, and he never attained even that. He did get as far as the orchard, but the woman was not amiable, and she brought her mother with her, and there was no cow. — J.K. Jerome

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

What I aspired to be and was not, comforts me. — Robert Browning

The more people one knows, the easier it becomes to replace them. — E.M. Forster

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. — Hebrews 13:2

We often forgive those who bore us, but can’t forgive those whom we bore. — La Rochefoucauld

Crying is one of the highest devotional songs. One who knows crying, knows spiritual practice. If you can cry with a pure heart, nothing else compares to such a prayer. Crying includes all the principles of Yoga. — Kripalvanandji

It’s like magic. When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone. — Merrill Markoe

Alas! How deeply painful is all payment! — Lord Byron

Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun. — Pablo Picasso

A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house. — Matthew 13:57

Living well is the best revenge. — George Herbert

Never give advice in a crowd. — Arab Proverb

We may live without poetry, music, and art;
We may live without conscience, and live without heart;
We may live without friends; we may live without books;

But civilized man cannot live without Cooks.
— Lord Lytton

The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers, but it takes a creative mind to spot wrong questions. — A. Jay

One may be humble out of pride. — Michel de Montaigne

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? — Scott Adams

There is almost a sensual longing for communion with others who have a large vision. The immense fulfillment of the friendship between those engaged in furthering the evolution of consciousness has a quality impossible to describe. — Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

He that seeks trouble always finds it. — English Proverb

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. — Henry David Thoreau

The rich would have to eat money, but luckily the poor provide food. — Russian Proverb

If you could just stay focused on the right things, your life would stop feeling like a reaction to stuff that happens to you and become something that you create: not a series of accidents, but a work of art. — Winifred Gallagher, Rapt: Attention and the Focused Life

Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible. — Carl Jung

Life is a game and you are the player. As you master the game, so you also create it. — Jay Woodman

Necessity makes even the timid brave. — Sallust

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month. — Theodore Roosevelt

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. — Albert Camus

The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof. — Barbara Kingsolver, in her book Animal Dreams.

One of the reasons for the spiritual practice of non-attachment — trying not to be personally attached about your thing, or pain or whatever happens to you — is so that you school yourself so that nothing can happen to you from the outside that can make you lose your energy, because as long as you have your energy on, you can do it. — Stephen Gaskin

Seldom any splendid story is wholly true. — Samuel Johnson

The absent are always wrong. — English Proverb

Learn to say “no”; it will be of more use to you than to be able to read Latin. — Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. — George Bernard Shaw

‘Tis no extravagant arithmetic to say, that for every ten jokes thou hast got an hundred enemies. — Laurence Sterne in his book The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead. — Bill McGlashen

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone. — Henry David Thoreau

How often I found where I should be going only by setting out for somewhere else. — R. Buckminster Fuller

We never eat anybody’s health, always drink it. Why should we not stand up now and then and eat a tart to somebody’s success? — J.K. Jerome

The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way. — Keanu Reeves

Hide not your light under a bushel.

I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library. — Jorge Luis Borges

The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion. — Albert Camus

A certain awkwardness marks the use of borrowed thoughts; but as soon as we have learned what to do with them, they become our own. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Practice makes perfect. — Latin Proverb

In extreme youth, in our most humiliating sorrow, we think we are alone. When we are older we find that others have suffered too. — Suzanne Moarny

My belief is that in life people will take you very much at your own reckoning. — Anthony Trollope

Ninety degrees at four in the morning is not fair. — Rudyard Kipling

Many would be cowards if they had courage enough. — Thomas Fuller

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane. — Mark Twain

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. — Henry David Thoreau

Some people are born with a sense of how to clothe themselves, others acquire it, others look as if their clothes had been thrust upon them. — Saki

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. — Chinese Proverb

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don’t know. — Mark Twain

Best relationship advice: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward. — James Thurber

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. — Albert Einstein

To be hopeful in bad times is based on the fact that human history is not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand Utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory. — Howard Zinn

It is difficult not to write satire. — Juvenal

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. — Hubert Humphrey

All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players. — William Shakespeare

Two great talkers will not travel far together. — Spanish Proverb

Imagination is more important than knowledge. — Albert Einstein

It is part of the cure to wish to be cured. — Latin Proverb

It’s a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy. — Lucille Ball (image)

Enter into negotiations with the intention of creating an agreement that will allow both parties to achieve their essential goals. — Tom Hopkins

I wish I loved the human race;
I wish I loved its silly face;
I wish I loved the way it walks;
I wish I liked the way it talks;
And when I’m introduced to one
I wish I thought What jolly fun!
— Sir Walter Raleigh, “Wishes of an Elderly Man,” from his book Laughter from a Cloud

Don’t throw a stone into a well from which you have drunk. — Yiddish Proverb

Unfaithfulness in the keeping of an appointment is an act of clear dishonesty. You may as well borrow a person’s money as his time. — Horace Mann

It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance. — Thomas Sowell

Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors. — Tom Snyder

A man over ninety is a great comfort to his elderly neighbors. Young folks of sixty or seventy feel that the enemy must get by him before getting near their camp. — Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

We are what we pretend to be. — Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

We judge ourselves by our motives and others by their actions. — Dwight Morrow

When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate. — Carl Jung

Well begun is half done. — Horace

He does not seem to me to be a free man who does not sometimes do nothing. — Cicero

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. — Lily Tomlin

There are two classes of people who tell what is going to happen in the future: those who don’t know and those who don’t know they don’t know. — John Kenneth Galbraith

Wink at small faults; for thou hast great ones. — Thomas Fuller

I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people that got there first. — Peter Ustinov

When in doubt, tell the truth. — Mark Twain

A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born. — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose. — Baltasar Gracian

It is not every question that deserves an answer. — Publilius Syrus

He does not believe that does not live according to his belief. — Sigmund Freud

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. — Laurence J. Peter, in his and Raymond Hull’s book The Peter Principle: Why Things Always Go Wrong.

Anyone going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron. — George Carlin

Do not hold to what you have. It is like a ferry boat for people who want to get across waters. Once you have got across, never bear it on your back. You should head forward. — Bruce Lee

Don’t swap horses when you are crossing a stream. — Abraham Lincoln

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered. — Ralph Waldo Emerson<

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it with reluctance. — Terence

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. — Mark Twain

Sleep … knits up the ravell’d sleeve of care. — William Shakespeare

It is easy to fly into a passion — anybody can do that — but to be angry with the right person to the right extent and at the right time and with the right object and in the right way — that is not easy, and it is not everyone who can do it. — Aristotle

All the happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast. — John Gunther

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. — Abraham Lincoln

Those who despise money will eventually sponge on their friends. — Chinese Proverb

As the old coots down in Appalachia used to say, “You can burn me for a fool but you won’t get no ashes.” — Tom Robbins, in his autobiography Tibetan Peach Pie.

Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Even moderation ought not to be practiced to excess.

This possibility to change reality, which exists in everyone, represents the real freedom of every human individual. He has an enormous possibility to change his world view. — Albert Hofmann (image)

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. — Carl Jung

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart. — Jonathan Swift

Times change and we change with them. — Latin Proverb

Curiosity is, in great and generous minds, the first passion and the last. — Samuel Johnson

Men are not only bad from good motives, but also often good from bad motives. — G.K. Chesterton

Beware the fury of a patient man. — John Dryden

All goes onward and outward, nothing collapses,
And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier.
— Walt Whitman (image)

Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering. — Carl Jung

Some things have to be believed to be seen. — Madeleine L’Engle

I could have married a lot of people, but I was busy. — Mae West

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do. — Chris Rock

Abuse a man unjustly, and you will make friends for him. — E.W. Howe

Tell the truth and run. — Yugoslavian Proverb

When a man is wrong and won’t admit it, he always gets angry. — Thomas Haliburton

I’m not offended by “dumb blonde” jokes because I know I’m not dumb. And I know I’m not blonde. — Dolly Parton

Don’t fight forces; use them. — R. Buckminster Fuller

The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
Gang aft a-gley.
— Robert Burns, from his poem “To a Mouse”

Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend. — John Singer Sargent

It’s nice to get stabbed in the front for a change. — Terry Venables

Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate. — Margaret Mead

Once conform, once do what others do because they do it, and a kind of lethargy steals over all the finer senses of the soul. — Michel de Montaigne

It is a sobering thought that each of us gives his hearers and his readers a chance to look into the inner working of his mind when he speaks or writes. — M. Barker

The eagle never lost so much time as when he submitted to learn from the crow. — William Blake

I’m sorry. If you were right, I’d agree with you. — Robin Williams

The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted the spoons. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Any excuse will serve a tyrant. — Aesop

Somebody’s boring me. I think it’s me. — Dylan Thomas

Don’t pay any attention to the critics. Don’t even ignore them. — Samuel Goldwyn

My wife’s a water sign. I’m an earth sign. Together we make mud. — Rodney Dangerfield

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. — Samuel Butler

I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free. — Georgia O’Keeffe

The imagination is the golden pathway to everywhere. — Terence McKenna

Smart Sayings

Smart Sayings

Dozens of smart sayings in graphical squares.

misc Featured
Neurotic to No-Limit: Attitude & Behavior Chart

Neurotic to No-Limit: Attitude & Behavior Chart

Neurotic to No-Limit: Attitude & Behavior Chart. From “The Sky’s the Limit” by Wayne Dyer. Copyright 1980 Wayne W. Dyer. NEZ means No Erroneous Zones.

misc
Help with Using HTML to Make Kindle Books

Help with Using HTML to Make Kindle Books

There are times when nothing will give you a good Kindle book like doing it in HTML. It’s a formatting language. It’s what KDP understands. You can get in there and tell it to do anything within its powers. And it’s not difficult. Back in 2015, I wrote up the instructions for how to use HTML to format Kindle books in Control Your Kindle Book Formatting: Simple Step-by-Step Instructions. You can read it here for free.

books
Selected Graphics: Decaying Daguerreotypes by Mathew Brady, Circa 1850

Selected Graphics: Decaying Daguerreotypes by Mathew Brady, Circa 1850

Images of decaying daguerreotypes from Mathew Brady’s NYC Studio, circa 1850.

Images
Selected Graphics: Dante’s Divine Comedy

Selected Graphics: Dante’s Divine Comedy

These illustrations from a 15th-century book show various areas of hell, purgatory, and heaven, based on Dante’s musings in The Divine Comedy. Hell and purgatory were painted by Priamo della Quercia, and Giovanni di Paoli di Grazia did heaven.

Images
Selected Graphics: Grunty Animals from The Flower of Nature, Circa 1350

Selected Graphics: Grunty Animals from The Flower of Nature, Circa 1350

If you need, or just want, 14th-century images of grunty or otherwise irritated creatures, you’ve come to the right place.

Images
Jesse James Pays a Widow’s Mortgage

Jesse James Pays a Widow’s Mortgage

Folk legends surround the life of Old West Outlaw Jesse James. Once, it has been told, while Jesse and his brother Frank were riding in the foothills of the Ozark Mountains with the Younger brothers, they stopped at a small, out—of—the—way cabin to ask for food. The sole occupant of the house was a poor, saddened woman whose husband had recently passed away. Overcoming any apprehension, the woman kindly agreed to throw some scraps together and feed the strangers. Once inside, however, Jesse sensed that something terrible was troubling the widow….

stories
One of Nikola Tesla’s Many Nervous Breakdowns

One of Nikola Tesla’s Many Nervous Breakdowns

It was here [Budapest] that I suffered the complete breakdown of the nerves to which I have referred. What I experienced during the period of that illness surpasses all belief. My sight and hearing were always extraordinary. I could clearly discern objects in the distance when others saw no trace of them. Several times in my boyhood I saved the houses of our neighbors from fire by hearing the faint crackling sounds which did not disturb their sleep, and calling for help. In 1899, when I was past forty and carrying on my experiments in Colorado, I could hear very distinctly thunderclaps at a distance of 550 miles. The limit of audition for my young assistants was scarcely more than 150 miles. My ear was thus over thirteen times more sensitive. Yet at that time I was, so to speak, stone deaf in comparison with the acuteness of my hearing while under the nervous strain….

stories
Messrs. Wrong and Mr. Right

Messrs. Wrong and Mr. Right

I once dated a cute guy in high school who served me spaghetti by candlelight and taught me to play Frisbee. He was a great kisser. He was good at French and geometry. But I had to break up with him because he liked the rock band Journey. Plus, he wore a puka shell necklace. In college, I dated a gorgeous Rhodes scholar who spent his summers distributing sacks of grain to starving children in Africa. He took me to wine tastings and the opera. But I had to break up with him because his name was Yehuda. Imagine having sex with someone and screaming, “Oh, do me, Yehuda.” Just not possible. After college, I had to break up with a civil rights lawyer because he had a mullet….

stories
Jack London’s Idea of a Fun Time

Jack London’s Idea of a Fun Time

The only recurrence of the temperamental joyance that was a large part of his nature was when he related the Spray’s experiences. For no sadness of soul could ever rob Jack London of his native delight in a boat. In relation to this very trip, I am tempted to quote from “Small-Boat Sailing” (in The Human Drift): “After all,” he says, “the mishaps are almost the best part of small-boat sailing….”

stories
Alec Guinness Falls in Love

Alec Guinness Falls in Love

My second term at Normandale, at Bexhill-on-Sea, proved to be my last there. I had been sent there as a boarder, at the age of six, shortly after my mother had married David Stiven; and I was blissfully happy, being by far the youngest boy in the school and, consequently, much fussed over. But when the summer term ended I found myself spending a dreary, lonely August holiday confined to a rather gloomy London hotel in the Cromwell Road….

stories
Jack the Bluejay

Jack the Bluejay

In the Long Ago, when people lighted the dark winter nights with tallow candles, a candle shop stood by the side of a brook. There was a great set kettle for trying out, a heavy iron press and leaden moulds. Altogether, it was a pretty greasy place, with piles of fresh tallow leaves, great “cheeses” of scraps, barrels of prepared tallow, and boxes of candles ready for market, and the fall and winter birds evidently thought it a feast provided by the gods for their delectation.

The presiding genius of the shop — David, the Candlemaker — was an uncouth man, but he had a big heart and a warm love for the sweet things of nature, especially birds, and they seemed to know it. How they took possession and over-ran the place!…

stories
Emanuel Swedenborg Sees Stockholm Burning — from 300 Miles Away

Emanuel Swedenborg Sees Stockholm Burning — from 300 Miles Away

Born in 1688, Emanuel Swedenborg began his career by mastering all the sciences of his day. Still judged by many to have possessed more factual information than any other person in history, he wrote 150 scientific works in chemistry, physics, mineralogy, geology, paleontology, anatomy, physiology, astronomy, optics and so forth. These contained many original discoveries: he described the function of the ductless glands and the cerebellum; he originated the nebular hypothesis of the solar system; he suggested the particle structure of magnets….

stories

Selected English Letters

Dear Godwin, —

The punch, after the wine, made me tipsy last night. This I mention, not that my head aches, or that I felt, after I quitted you, any unpleasantness or titubancy; but because tipsiness has, and has always, one unpleasant effect — that of making me talk very extravagantly; and as, when sober, I talk extravagantly enough for any common tipsiness, it becomes a matter of nicety in discrimination to know when I am or am not affected….

stories
A Noble Ruin

A Noble Ruin

We soon came to the house we were looking for, by far the most impressive structure in the whole village. From the outside it looked decidedly gloomy with its blackened walls, narrow barred windows, and all the marks of long neglect. It had been the home of a titled family which had gone away long ago; then it had served as a barracks for the carabinieri until they had moved to their newly-built modern headquarters, and the filth and squalor of the walls inside still bore witness to its military occupation.

stories
In the Groove on the Queen Mary in 1939

In the Groove on the Queen Mary in 1939

Harry Parr-Davies was an accompanist for Gracie Fields and writer of some of her most famous songs, among them the World War II classic ‘Wish Me Luck as You Wave Me Goodbye’. Alas, on a 1939 Atlantic crossing on the Queen Mary with Fields, Parr-Davies appeared to run clean out of luck, possibly while waving someone goodbye, when his glasses fell overboard. He was too short-sighted to read music without them, and in some embarrassment went to report his mishap to Fields.

stories
Doc Shastid Infuriated by Tumble-Bug Dung-Ball

Doc Shastid Infuriated by Tumble-Bug Dung-Ball

…And the stories about my father grew steadily worse. Some were altogether incredible, yet were continually being repeated. One of them was so bad I was nearly distracted about it. Mr. and Mrs. John Connett, true friends of my father in Pittsfield, came round to his office one day and repeated it to him sympathetically and with the assurance that they and their friends were going to do the best they could to “nail that lie.” With such a story circulating — i.e., that Father was going demented and, under the delusion that insects were crawling around in everybody’s wounds or inwards, was poisoning and killing his patients wholesale in the endeavor to poison and kill out the cockroaches, tumble-bugs, etc., was it any wonder that my father’s practice suffered?

stories
Clara Bow Regrets Dancing on Table with Just a Few Clothes On

Clara Bow Regrets Dancing on Table with Just a Few Clothes On

Sarah’s malady was still a mystery, yet that October she was discharged from the asylum and listed as “Recovered.” Clara rented a furnished room for them, and when Johnny Bennett visited her there, she told him that her mother had been on location with her in New Bedford. No mention of an asylum was made.

stories

The Newness of the Old

In an American paper I find this anecdote: “An old lady was being shown the spot on which a hero fell. ‘I don’t wonder,’ she replied. ‘It’s so slippery I nearly fell there myself.'”

Now that story, which is very old in England, and is familiar here to most adult persons, is usually told of Nelson and the Victory. Indeed it is such a commonplace with facetious visitors to that vessel that the wiser of the guides are at pains to get in with it first. But in America it may be fresh and beginning a new lease of life; it will probably go on forever in all English-speaking countries, on each occasion of its recrudescence finding a few people to whom it is new….

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Fanny Stevenson Finds Her Friend’s Grave

Fanny Stevenson Finds Her Friend’s Grave

She had no sooner disembarked at Aspinwall [Panama] [in 1864] than she set out to find the cemetery where she imagined George Marshall was buried. Without worrying about her trunks, which had been piled on top of each other at random, without haggling over a high-priced room, Fanny set off down the main street, threading her way, her daughter in tow, between the slums and brothels, the billiard parlors and gambling dens. Then she crossed the iron track along the seafront and the sheds where rows of bananas, coconuts, heaps of coral, and vegetable ivory awaited shipment to New York, baking under roofs of corrugated metal.

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